The Importance of a Brother-In-Law

Elchonon Lesches

There once lived a chasid who took great pains to ensure that his daughter married a Torah scholar of the highest caliber. True, most parents naturally desire only the best marriage partner for their children, but this individual was particularly consumed by the idea. He traveled from city to city, combing through dozens of yeshivas, trying to find the perfect young man.

In one such yeshiva, the father finally found the right person, an assiduous scholar of sterling character. The father went to consult with the dean. "He is our best," concurred the dean. "However, I must warn you -- thus far he has rejected every single marriage proposal. If you succeed in persuading him, you'll have found the best possible person for your daughter."

Not one to waste time, the father approached this particular student and praised his daughter to the heavens, extolling her virtuous character until the student agreed to meet her. The two met and, to everyone's surprise, agreed to marry.

The father's happiness knew no bounds. They set a date for the wedding and began the frenzied preparations for the happy event. Once, during this time, the groom remarked to him, "I want you to know that I have older brothers." However, the father was so busy arranging the upcoming wedding, he hardly paid attention to this particular remark.

Shortly after the wedding, the young man died suddenly, leaving his wife in heavy grief. Only now did her father recall the strange remark about other brothers. According to Jewish Law, his daughter could not remarry until one of these brothers either married her, or complied with the chalitzah process, which severed their ties to her. The father now found himself in a real quandary; he had neglected to secure the names or addresses of these brothers. How was he to find them?

The father traveled to the Tzemach Tzedek in Lubavitch and obtained a private audience with him. He entered the Rebbe's room with a grieving heart. Was his daughter destined to remain a widow?

"Now you come?" the Rebbe rebuked him severely. "You should have consulted with me before the engagement, not now! Anyway, it's too late to change anything; go search in such-and-such city."

Off he went, but, to his amazement, found only gentiles living there. His questions were met with ridicule and outright scorn. "Jews? Here?" people laughed. "There are no Jews in the entire area."

However, being a staunch chasid, the father never entertained the slightest doubt regarding the Rebbe's instructions. He continued working his way through the city, questioning and asking information until finally a particular person drew his attention. There was something about his face and something peculiar about his actions that suggested a Jewish background. "Are you Jewish?" the chasid boldly asked.

"Stop bothering me!" the stranger roared. I don't even know any Jews. No one here is Jewish. Go away and leave me alone."

The chasid would not be deterred. He badgered the stranger with all sorts of questions, but no admission was forthcoming. "I want you to know something," the chasid finally said. "My leader, the Tzemach Tzedek, sent me here."

"He did?" The stranger suddenly turned deathly pale. His manner became polite, almost docile. "Yes, I am Jewish," he said. "How can I help you?"

The chasid quickly related his predicament to the stranger, who responded, "I can't do anything for you," he said. "You see, I have an older brother. According to Jewish Law, he is the one who must release your daughter."

The stranger gave him the address of a different village and the distraught father took to the road once more.

Here again, the village turned out to be inhabited completely by gentiles, and it was only with great difficulty that the Chasid located the person he needed. The stranger, too, fiercely denied any relationship to Judaism or anything Jewish, and only after the Chasid mentioned the name of his Rebbe did the stranger meekly acknowledge his identity. After the Chasid related his tale of woe, the stranger readily agreed to perform chalitzah. The widow was brought to the village, they performed the ceremony, and she was free to remarry.

Having brought the situation to a happy conclusion, the Chasid made a special trip to Lubavitch to thank the Tzemach Tzedek for his invaluable assistance. Said the Rebbe: "These three were tzaddikim of the highest degree. Two of them chose certain surroundings to help them remain inconspicuous. Because of your self-sacrifice in choosing only the best Torah scholar for your daughter, you were granted the merit of seeing three hidden tzaddikim."

(Selected by Yrachmiel Tilles from "The Third Judge" by Rabbi Elchonon Lesches)

Biographical note:
Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn [1789-1866], the Third Rebbe of Chabad, was known as the Tsemach Tzedek, after his books of Halachic responsa and Talmudic commentary called by that name. He was renowned not only as a Rebbe, but also as a leading scholar in his generation in both the revealed and hidden aspects of Torah.

Yrachmiel Tilles is co-founder and associate director of Ascent-of-Safed, and editor of Ascent Quarterly and the AscentOfSafed.com and KabbalaOnline.org websites. He has hundreds of published stories to his credit.